One of my father’s patients “adopted” us in the early 1980s. For kids who had few blood relatives in the Bay Area, knowing Grandma Ella – one of the most loving, mischievous, and wonderful people I’ve ever known- transformed us from being the children of immigrants and seclusion, to becoming Pakistani-American.
When schoolkids said we couldn’t possibly have a white grandmother, or that we weren’t American because of our brown skin, she swept aside their objections by claiming and planting us firmly in this soil. She made being Pakistani and American mutually enriching instead of an either/or choice as my parents and their friends decreed, or weird as my schoolmates deemed.
We celebrated our first Thanksgiving with her at her backyard picnic table in the California sunshine with pumpkin pie and gulab jamun side by side, helped make meals for her church community, and proudly sang Pakistani folk songs dressed in shiny shalvar kameezes at senior centers.
She had those most rare of qualities, suspending judgment while listening whole-heartedly, and soaking you with her love even when she didn’t agree. I remember sitting huddled on a staircase, already glum at being forced to be a doctor like my dad when she found me. She never undermined my father, but her comfort provided the understanding I was looking for.
A devout Christian, she was fascinated by Islam and read the Qur’an because she wanted to understand her three “granddaughters” better and because she was open to wisdom in its every form. It was she who first introduced me to this poem when I was 9 years old and it is one I still reflect on.
She died in 1984 of a heart attack while I was holding her hand.
I still miss her deeply. May God bless her for all the love and wisdom she shared with us, ameen.
—
Footprints in the Sand
One night I had a dream -
I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord
and across the sky flashed scenes from my life.
For each scene I noticed two sets of footprints,
one belonged to me and the other to the Lord.
When the last scene of my life flashed before me,
I looked back at the footprints in the sand.
I noticed that many times along the path of my life,
there was only one set of footprints.
I also noticed that it happened at the very lowest
and saddest times in my life.
This really bothered me and I questioned the Lord about it.
“Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you,
you would walk with me all the way,
but I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life
there is only one set of footprints.
I don’t understand why in times when I needed you most,
you would leave me.”
The Lord replied, “My precious, precious child,
I love you and I would never, never leave you
during your times of trial and suffering.
When you saw only one set of footprints -
it was then that I carried you.”
16 comments
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February 9, 2009 at 5:05 pm
Hajar
That’s an old, familiar, but still beautiful poem. I was probably weaned on that one.
What a wonderful person that lady was! She sure made an impact on your young mind.
February 9, 2009 at 5:56 pm
Lilian Nattel
What a special person she was. I love the end of that poem. Good to see it again.
February 9, 2009 at 6:14 pm
toseekandfind
One of my favorites poems – I cross-stitched it when I was 15 and seeing this made me wonder what I ever did with that pillow!
I think we all wish and hope to have someone so wise and wonderful in our life – positive influences are always welcome…especially when they leave a lovely stamp on our hearts.
Hope you are feeling better.
February 9, 2009 at 6:18 pm
Saha
How much I would love this for my own children, she sounds like a wonderful woman.
It’s been some time since I visited your blog. May Allah help you to cope with the chemo.
February 9, 2009 at 7:48 pm
Achelois
Beautiful persons – you and Grandma Ella!
February 9, 2009 at 9:08 pm
darvish
That poem always makes me tear up, because I know it is the absolute truth.
Tonight I will say a prayer for your dear, loving “grandmother,” may God bless her soul.
Ya Haqq!
February 10, 2009 at 3:18 am
Specs
The story’s touched my heart… just goes to prove goodness and selfless love isn’t bound by race, creed or religion.
The poem’s an old favorite of mine. Saw it in The Chicken Soup for the Soul series.
February 10, 2009 at 7:38 am
Mezba
People like those that the world needs more of.
You have been truly blessed to be surrounded by wonderful people, from your husband to your parents to even “grandparents”!
February 10, 2009 at 1:45 pm
Baraka
Salaams my dears,
Alhamdolillah I feel so much better today! I finish a project tonight, leave for a board meeting in Phoenix tomorrow morning, return Friday for a ski weekend, and then face my next infusion on the 20th.
I was feeling really overwhelmed by it all but now I feel happy and supported by re-reading this poem and your comments. Truly, no soul is burdened beyond what it can handle.
Hajar: Strangely, though she passed away when I was 12, I feel her more deeply than my blood grandparents who died when I was much older. There are people whose connection even death cannot diminish, subhan’Allah.
Lillian: She truly was – and the last few lines of this poem always resonate for me too.
TS&F: Good to see you here again over the past week my dear! It’s true – through our daily interactions we have the opportunity to create something beautiful and indelible in another person’s heart that can last their entire life.
Saha: It’s so nice to see you again – I’ve been catching up on your blog too. May God grant you serenity & health my dear!
Achelois: As are you, my bright and beautiful one!
Darvish: I cried as I read it again – the truth of the last verse is very deep for me right now in my weakened state. Thank you for your prayers for Grandma Ella. She was a great soul.
Specs: Good to see you again my dear! You know, she never talked about Christianity. She simply embodied love. There’s a profound lesson there.
Mezba: I have been truly blessed – and I can only hope to emulate and pass on their love and generosity with others.
Health & happiness to you all my friends!
Warmly,
Baraja
February 10, 2009 at 8:36 pm
Gabrielle
This is really beautiful.
I, too, am a devout Christian who likes to read the Qur’an, there are some true beautiful verses in it. Also, I have a deep reverence for Ramadan and what it represents. Honestly, if I were not a Christian, I would be Muslim.
I’m glad that you were introduced to a very loving Christian, and you know that not all Christians view Islam or Muslims so harshly and pronounce judgment upon them.
And thank God for people who choose us to be a part of their family, no matter our skin color, religion, or origin.
February 11, 2009 at 4:07 am
shaz
u have such a wonderful heart and soul, i think that’s really reflective in the type of company that you attract. be well.
February 16, 2009 at 9:58 pm
TheGoriWife
These people who take us under our wing and help us forge our path in a scary, bright new world; they deserve so much thanks. I think to the kindly professor who invited all of his international students for Thanksgiving (my husband included) who would have been all alone on that everything-closed holiday, or maybe gone years before knowing the American Thanksgiving traditions. But I also think of the kind auntie who said Salam to me in the first mosque I ever went to, telling me where to put my shoes and which door to go through. So, so kind; such a big impact. I can’t ever say thank you but I can try to do the same for others.
February 17, 2009 at 5:36 pm
Nerda
Thanks for posting this–an oldie but goodie. I must have read it 100 times and tear up every time I do!
February 26, 2009 at 11:25 pm
patricia josiah
i think this poem is beauitful for the frout of the websit
i love the idel of i dreamer of the lord
March 5, 2009 at 2:20 pm
themuslimkid
This is interesting. I feel that my boyscout leaders are like this. there i don’t know if there “devout” Christians but they were very moral people.
There always very helpful. kind. nice.
It makes me wonder..some may find it ignorant but being raised with very conservative people I somehow find it “ajeeb” that non-Muslims can be good people even though they dont follow the Quran.
Kinda ignorant I suppose…
Anyways! Nice blog! my blog is : themuslimkid.blogspot.com
I’m fourteen, you should check it out!
-The Muslim Kid-
April 3, 2009 at 12:59 am
Burrell Webb
Thank you ever so much for not falsely crediting my poem to one of the fakers. No doubt your grandma taught you the basic concept of right and wrong you were very lucky that GOD gave you such a person in your life. –er– you can return my poem to (author unknown)as I originaly released it if you want to.