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In the wake of the tragic murder of Aasiya Hassan, imams across the country will be giving Friday sermons against domestic violence tomorrow.
If your mosque or imam has not joined in yet, please encourage them to do so and please help to spread the word.
For those of you in the SF Bay Area, the following imams will be taking part:
- Islamic Society of San Francisco – Imam Khalid Siddiqui
- South Bay Islamic Association (San Jose, CA) – Imam Tahir Anwar
- Zaytuna Institute (Berkeley, CA) – Shaykh Hamza Yusuf
It’s long overdue, but I’m glad that community members and leaders are finally speaking out. Last year I found out that a family friend of ours regularly beat his wife.
For decades the only thing she asked of him was to spare the three children from the knowledge that he abused her. She requested that he take her to the bedroom and beat her there, where she would stuff her mouth with cloth so they wouldn’t hear her cries.
He is a pillar of the local mosque, a doctor, and an abuser. His children finally found out and forbade him to ever lay a finger on her again.
It’s about time that we all speak out against people like that.
Related articles:
Wajahat Ali’s excellent article in The Guardian, A Wake-Up Call for the Community
KufiGirl: National Organization of (Some) Women Gets it Wrong: More on Muzzammil Hassan and DomesticViolence
Salon: Murder while Muslim
Beliefnet’s American Muslims call for Swift Acion against Domestic Violence
ISNA’s Open Letter to Leaders of American Muslim Communities
Just Another Angry Black Muslim Woman? on How Lack of Accountability led to the Rise of a Monster
Muslimah Media Watch’s comprehensive listing of links and articles
Update:
Shaykh Hamza Yusuf’s sermon: “Removing the Silence on Domestic Violence“
My paternal grandfather had Alzheimer’s and grandmother had a series of strokes that left her paralyzed until her death.
My father started exhibiting neurological symptoms on Sunday but refused to see a neurologist until today when he was admitted to the hospital in an acute confusional state. They’re running tests on him right now and we are anxiously waiting to hear and praying that all is well.
Your prayers are needed and appreciated, jazak Allah khair.
—
Update: The MRI shows that he has had a stroke and they will be keeping him in the hospital until further notice. Insh’Allah I plan to go to him and my mother after my chemo infusion this Friday.
Please pray for his complete recovery, thank you!
Rules: Google your first name and the word needs. Put the phrase within quotation marks, i.e., “Your Name needs” and then press search.
Type in the first 10 results below or in your comment.
I googled my real name and this is what came up:
1. Baraka needs to understand
2. Baraka needs to jump in a well
3. Baraka needs to go on a diet
4. Baraka needs to follow them
5. Baraka needs to sort herself out
6. Baraka needs to put some bounce in her hair
7. Baraka needs more time
8. Baraka needs glasses
9. Baraka needs to change
10. Baraka needs more snakes
The funny thing is that I thought each one of these phrases today…except for #10.
I believe the correct number of snakes in my life to be exactly zero.
[HT: Hajar]
I’m off to Arizona early tomorrow morning for a board meeting, and then straight to Tahoe for some downtime in front of a fireplace with a book and close friends.
Have a lovely long weekend!
One of my father’s patients “adopted” us in the early 1980s. For kids who had few blood relatives in the Bay Area, knowing Grandma Ella – one of the most loving, mischievous, and wonderful people I’ve ever known- transformed us from being the children of immigrants and seclusion, to becoming Pakistani-American.
When schoolkids said we couldn’t possibly have a white grandmother, or that we weren’t American because of our brown skin, she swept aside their objections by claiming and planting us firmly in this soil. She made being Pakistani and American mutually enriching instead of an either/or choice as my parents and their friends decreed, or weird as my schoolmates deemed.
We celebrated our first Thanksgiving with her at her backyard picnic table in the California sunshine with pumpkin pie and gulab jamun side by side, helped make meals for her church community, and proudly sang Pakistani folk songs dressed in shiny shalvar kameezes at senior centers.
She had those most rare of qualities, suspending judgment while listening whole-heartedly, and soaking you with her love even when she didn’t agree. I remember sitting huddled on a staircase, already glum at being forced to be a doctor like my dad when she found me. She never undermined my father, but her comfort provided the understanding I was looking for.
A devout Christian, she was fascinated by Islam and read the Qur’an because she wanted to understand her three “granddaughters” better and because she was open to wisdom in its every form. It was she who first introduced me to this poem when I was 9 years old and it is one I still reflect on.
She died in 1984 of a heart attack while I was holding her hand.
I still miss her deeply. May God bless her for all the love and wisdom she shared with us, ameen.
—
Footprints in the Sand
One night I had a dream -
I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord
and across the sky flashed scenes from my life.
For each scene I noticed two sets of footprints,
one belonged to me and the other to the Lord.
When the last scene of my life flashed before me,
I looked back at the footprints in the sand.
I noticed that many times along the path of my life,
there was only one set of footprints.
I also noticed that it happened at the very lowest
and saddest times in my life.
This really bothered me and I questioned the Lord about it.
“Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you,
you would walk with me all the way,
but I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life
there is only one set of footprints.
I don’t understand why in times when I needed you most,
you would leave me.”
The Lord replied, “My precious, precious child,
I love you and I would never, never leave you
during your times of trial and suffering.
When you saw only one set of footprints -
it was then that I carried you.”
If you read just one blog post this week, let it be Darvish’s Healing through Compassion. Simply stunning in its wisdom and beauty.
A dear friend of mine came by to drop off homemade soup last night to get me through the next couple of post-chemo couch-bound days, and ended up staying an unexpected couple of hours to talk about her life.
She’s a mirror image of me – her husband became ill with an auto-immune condition shortly after they married, just as I did in my marriage to Basil, so when she speaks about being a caregiver to her husband it gives me insights into what mine has been through. In turn, I provide her with perspective on the challenges of living with a medical condition.
Caregivers are the forgotten people in medical situations. While the person afflicted with the condition receives support and attention, the caregiver often either doesn’t have access to a support system or feels that their burden is so much less in comparison to their partner that they don’t deserve to complain or to be cared for in the same way. They give so much of themselves and often end up depleting themselves completely before seeking help.
She wept from the stress, guilt, and resentment boiling over from facing many difficult decisions and situations. Incurable illnesses smash relationships to pieces. You become afraid to reach out to grasp the joy that others take for granted because you are always waiting for the sword to fall again.
As she spoke, I realized that she was completely overwhelmed by the choices facing her and so had become paralyzed in a place of inaction and fear. Later, I realized that so much of my advice to her about doing her best to make informed decisions, but then letting go and trusting to God applied to my own situation. Imam Shaf’i said that every person he met was a teacher to him – on how to be, or how not to be – and I believe this to be true for us all. We are mirrors to each other, if only we choose to see that.
Last night after she left, I prayed while the house slept. I realized that I had done everything I humanly could to prepare for the chemotherapy and that now it was time to surrender control. So I consciously gave up all my apprehension and fear and laid them at His feet. I clutched His hem and trusted Him. In doing so, I was immediately enveloped in a warm and deep feeling of love from and toward the Beloved, of being held most tenderly in the most loving of Hands.
When I let down the barriers to my fears and welcomed them in, as dear Brother Irving suggested, they became smaller, and, in their diminishing, space was made for a vast peace to descend upon me from the very One who is Peace.
I awoke today in a complete state of serenity – one that I don’t recall ever feeling before - and the day went smoothly. In fact, it only took 4.5 hours from start to finish, a record-breaking time for one who has sometimes endured 8-10 hour chemo infusions! I know that pre-dosing with anti-allergy medications helped, but I firmly believe that prayer and surrender played a huge role too.
During the infusion today, I meditated a lot on the beautiful Prayer of Light by the Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings upon him, and on the Prayer of Seeking Goodness in which we acknowledge our human limitations and our need for God’s wisdom and love to guide us to the best and most beautiful of actions.
One of the meanings of “Islam” is surrender or submission to God, and yet I find that it is often one of the most difficult or overlooked aspects of our religion. As humans we try to have complete control over our lives and often drive ourselves mad doing so.
My life would be different in so many ways if I regularly surrendered and trusted the One who loves us seventy times more than our mothers, and introduces Himself in the very first line of the Qur’an as the Merciful and the Compassionate. I want to cultivate more surrender in my life. I suspect serenity will follow.
May we all be granted guidance and healing, nourishing light on the spiritual paths that we have chosen, and may the Light provide us strength to deal with the many challenges we will all surely find on life’s path, ameen.
Health and happiness to you all and bless you again for your sweet empathy, prayers, support and love!
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