I had an Eid post written out, scheduled to automatically post last Wednesday. It recounted how the San Francisco community has grown over the past six years that Basil and I have lived here, from a time when iftar was just the two of us at home, to this year when we attended so many iftars, especially in the third week of Ramadan, that I began to yearn for that old solitude.
Following ISNA’s astronomical calendar rather than the moonsighting tradition meant a good number of people took Eid off from work and planned to gather in SF’s Holly Park for a celebratory barbeque together. Though I love the ritual and reasoning of moonsighting, the pre-set astronomical calculations seem to work well for many communities living in non-Muslim countries.
So, I planned to be at a park on Wednesday and at Zaytuna’s gathering on Friday evening, but on Monday night I got a frantic message from my best friend’s sister in the UK. She asked if I could fly to Ottawa immediately as she feared my friend was headed for another breakdown.
A few hours later, just before dawn, I was on my way. Even if I hadn’t been able to spend Eid as I had envisioned it, I thought to myself, I could still spend it with my beloved friend and her two daughters, though I had no idea what state of mind I would find her in.
I left summer in San Francisco and reached Ottawa, its forests already swirled with autumnal red and gold, on a rainy Tuesday evening to discover that they had already celebrated Eid, a day before SF would. It felt then, for a deeply disappointed moment, like I had spent Eid in airborne limbo, and in apprehension for her, instead of in joy at the fulfillment of Ramadan or at our meeting again after two long years, whatever the circumstances.
Later, it struck me that though I had planned to attend community festivities with friends and family, God had planned for me to serve my friend instead. There is something strange and beautiful in the fact that whatever our plans may be, often something better is written for us; and that our rizq (sustenance) is preordained for us – one day in San Francisco, and the next in Ottawa - through no planning or foresight of our own.
It makes me realize yet again that so very little is in my hands. If I truly trusted the Hands that hold my life, then I could live each day fully, without sadness for the past or fear of the future. But to remain present - to remember that – is the challenge, isn’t it?
So often at the very moment the belief that I am cradled in the best of Hands falters, a beautiful twist of life arises to remind me.
She is better, alhamdolillah.
What more could I ask for on Eid?





12 comments
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October 5, 2008 at 6:35 pm
Safiyyah
As Salaamu Alaikum Sis:
Alhamdulillah, you are a dear friend. I know that your friend really appreciated you being there for her. May Allah (swt) reward you.
October 5, 2008 at 7:59 pm
Mohammed Husain
Baraka,
I’ve found so many of your posts inspirational. I really want to thank you for writing.
There are many times where I’ve been frustrated with some particular thing in my life, and I come to your blog and feel refreshed and rejuvenated. You know, doubt and cynicism are contagious, but so is faith and gratitude. And you write beautifully. May Allah bless you, your family and your friends.
Keep writing.
wa salaam,
Mohammed
October 5, 2008 at 11:17 pm
Umm Salihah
Assalam-alaikam barakah,
I am glad to hear that your friend is better, what a kind thing to do.
The two biggest lessons I have learnt in life have been sabr is everything and that everything is in Allah (SWT) hand’s and nothing happens without Allah’s decision it should happen. It’s just keeping the lessons in mind in our everyday lives that can prove difficult. Thanks for the reminder.
October 5, 2008 at 11:45 pm
misspecs
Its great to hear your friend’s doing so much better. I’m touched by what you say about placing our trust in the One and living life without sadness or fear.
October 6, 2008 at 5:50 am
darvish
Salaam Dearest Sister Baraka
Alhamdulillah, that your friend is better. And indeed you are right. My Master says that if we accept what is happening to us at each moment, we would be finished with the path. Living in the moment with trust in Allah is indeed the hardest lesson to learn in life.
Ya Haqq!
October 6, 2008 at 7:40 am
maximus mercury
Hello Baraka – welcome back and glad to hear your friend is doing better – I can understand the apprehension and dismay that probably had you in its hold all the way to Ottawa and upon arriving with your friend. I find it an odd surreal kind of relief when a person or place I have been intensely focused on and imagined becomes a reality and I realise that life will continue to move at the seemingly sedate pace that it does, even as we hurtle through it… Anyway, I am glad that the surrealism subsided for you and was replaced by joy and satisfaction.
What you say about accepting and recognizing God’s Will in each day, each occurrence is of course so true – it sounds easy to say but is the rarest thing to achieve. There are very few moments of quiet in a week when you can even realise that the world, the very air you breathe is enconsing you and keeping you safe just as it should be… I find that to be able to trust that this is God’s Will, though, I have to be able to trust myself. To trust that I am doing what it is that could and should be done in the situation that God has put me in. That barrier… of not knowing how I am performing, relative to how I could, may only be a trick of the mind, but it stands in the way of understanding & acceptance.
October 6, 2008 at 8:27 am
shaz
your friend is very lucky to have you. i am glad she is doing better, and yes, that is a wonderful eid gift.
truly His plan is so much better than anything we could ever plan, which is the reason that i really don’t make “plans”.
October 6, 2008 at 9:07 am
Mezba
I second shaz.
“your friend is very lucky to have you”.
October 6, 2008 at 11:09 am
non-Muslim Wandering Past
“Things happen exactly the way they should”
October 6, 2008 at 11:42 am
safia
Assalamualikum,
MashAllah.You were able to help a friend in need.Glad to hear shes feeling better.
October 8, 2008 at 8:17 am
ilana
heard MAC thought 7k were coming and 11k came–violating all the firecodes. ha!–Happy eid
October 11, 2008 at 11:13 am
Baraka
Salaams my dears:
Safiyyah: Thank you jaan, may she be healed deeply and quickly, ameen!
Mohammed Husain: Welcome and thank you so much for your kind comment. I love what you said here:
doubt and cynicism are contagious, but so is faith and gratitude.
So very true!
Umm Salihah: Alhamdolillah, my friend has been a lifesaver for me so many times I feel this is the least that I can do for her. She is an amazing person, mash’Allah.
It’s just keeping the lessons in mind in our everyday lives that can prove difficult.
I guess that’s why I get so many reminders…like gentle nudges toward the calming light when life gets crazy.
Miss Specs: Thank you, dear!
Darvish: if we accept what is happening to us at each moment, we would be finished with the path. Living in the moment with trust in Allah is indeed the hardest lesson to learn in life.
Subhan’Allah.
MM: I find that to be able to trust that this is God’s Will, though, I have to be able to trust myself. To trust that I am doing what it is that could and should be done in the situation that God has put me in.
So true. I find myself reflecting more & more on, “Tie your camel, then trust in God.”
Shaz: I can’t help making plans – I know they often don’t work out but I am too anal not to
Mezba: Alhamdoilillah, she is like a sister to me – a truly great and generous soul. Truly, I am the lucky one.
Moonwolf: Amen, sister!
Safia: Thank you sweetie!
Ilana: Eid mubarik to you too!
Warmly,
Baraka