She used to spy on her mother, who seemed stranger each day the little girl went to school and discovered what normal was.
What it wasn’t: The chicken tikka sandwiches her mother packed for lunchtime that smelled enough to wrinkle little snub noses and avert golden heads, the baggy pants and long shirts she wore while waiting at the curb after school, the hesitant English and modest grace that marked everything she did, so different from the mothers of the other girls at school.
Early one Sunday morning, the little girl walked downstairs and peeked in when she heard sounds from the kitchen. The strains of Bach in the air and her mother – sleeves rolled up to the elbows, hands flecked with the gore of fruit, arms and knife dripping with juice – standing at the sink, cutting mangoes.
Her eyes intent, hands slow, slicing off paper-thin wavy strips of skin. She piled peels high in one plate, slid luscious slices of mango onto another. After cutting the three mangoes, instead of washing her hands, she licked them.
Licked each sweet rivulet slowly up her arms.
She ignored the fat slices of fruit and picked the peels up instead. Eyes closed now in concentration, soaring music her guide, she raked her teeth across each peel, mango threads catching in between her teeth, devouring every scant morsel of flesh that still clung to the finely pared skins.
Perhaps anyone so sensuous and enrapt can only evoke misunderstanding. Especially a mother, spied upon by a small girl.
How could the girl know that each jewel-toned mango had been smuggled into a country where only expensive, dry ones were available, brought by friends who understood that the pain of exile is briefly alleviated by such precious small gifts.
How could she know that her mother, eyes closed, senses alight, was swaying to the memories of music her father had played on his gramophone for her in a village far away while hand-feeding her fragrant, chilled mangoes?
How could she know that for her mother each paper-thin peel was a fragment of home so that the more she lingered, the more deeply she savored and swallowed, the longer she could hold all of them – dead parents, nine siblings and girlhood playmates lost to the dust of Punjab – inside?
The girl never asked her mother why she swayed to Bach and mangoes that morning.
But, from that day on whenever her mother spoke to her in Urdu, she replied fiercely in English instead.





17 comments
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February 9, 2008 at 4:25 am
Maliha
Salamaat,
Thank you for sharing this Baraka…it touched a nerve for me, being a first generation mommy and hoping (against hope?) that I never have to suffer that split from my children.
February 9, 2008 at 5:50 am
loveshaheen
your words are weaved together so well that I was able to
totally picture in my mind the entire scene in the kitchen.
what a gift you are blessed with.
February 9, 2008 at 10:52 am
Achelois
Amazing! For a moment I thought I was reading Lahiri. Very poignant. Brilliant.
February 9, 2008 at 8:47 pm
mskoonj
Beautiful and terrible.
I’d better not eat mangoes in front of Raihana …
February 10, 2008 at 10:09 am
Imelda / Greenishlady
That is very touching and evocative. I could smell the mango and taste the juice.
February 10, 2008 at 10:31 am
Umm Salihah
Assalam-alaikam,
thank you for these lovely words, like Maliha, they touched a nerve, but not as the mother, as the daughter caught between two worlds. I hope I can make my children proud of their heritage and that they never have to be embarrased of their mum in her abaya and scarf.
Darnation!! – now I really need some mango’s!!
February 10, 2008 at 2:29 pm
umarah
your post makes me wanna go back home
February 10, 2008 at 10:23 pm
UmmFarouq
Brilliant. How you managed to convey these images in just a few sentences; mashaAllah, you have a true gift.
Somehow I don’t think that my swaying to U2 while eating grits will make much of a story.
February 10, 2008 at 11:49 pm
brnaeem
AA- Baraka,
Very nice, but you lost this slow 2nd-gen punjabi in the end:
“But, from that day on whenever her mother spoke to her in Urdu, she replied fiercely in English instead.”
What does that mean?
February 11, 2008 at 4:41 am
Aaminah
Asalaamu alaikum.
I echo the “brilliant” and indeed beautiful and heart-wrenching. This is just an amazing piece of writing.
February 11, 2008 at 6:18 am
Irving
Beautiful and deeply felt and true to the bone, to the mango juice running down the arm in little rivers of goodness, to the child of two worlds watching, and the ache for a long ago home.
I love it, and pray it is part of a longer work or collection of stories or a novel. May Allah bless your pen, dear Sister
Ya Haqq!
February 11, 2008 at 7:59 am
Molly
awesome. absolutely awesome.
February 11, 2008 at 8:47 am
Muse
Really wonderful to meet you too! I hope I wasn’t too creepy about it, like “uhh hi, i’m a groupie” (which i totally am, just to be clear
I’ll be in touch inshaAllah after the exam.
February 11, 2008 at 8:56 am
Achelois
Oh and you are tagged – http://achelois.wordpress.com/2008/02/10/book-meme-yippee/
February 14, 2008 at 8:56 am
mystic
Are choro ye saare academic project aur articles.
And write a fiction. You have talent to write good fiction. Kahan baqol ghalib, “fiqre-jahan ke wabal” main “sir khapati ho”
Bohut achha likha.. (can I reproduce at my blog with reference to you?)
February 14, 2008 at 3:54 pm
Baraka
Salaam my dears:
Maliha: The split will come my dear, but not all splits are terrible. Some are as beautiful as the green bud splitting open to reveal a rose, while still firmly rooted in the soil of home.
Loveshaheen: Welcome and thank you!
Achelois: Lahiri! Now I’m blushing.
Ms Koonj: Did you ever get into the icy cold tub on a sweltering summer day with chilled mangoes and just eat them till the rivulets ran down your chin and hands and into the water?
If so, definitely don’t do that in front of R!
Imelda: Thank you dear – I’m glad that the imagery worked!
Umm Saliha: Insha-Allah may they be as proud, beautiful, and confident as you are!
Umarah: Me too. *sigh*
Umm Farouq: Somehow I don’t think that my swaying to U2 while eating grits will make much of a story.
A story about how cool their Mom is, absolutely! Love U2 but still haven’t been to see their new 3D movie.
BrNaeem: The little girl saw her mother’s tongue doing wacky and wonderful things. But she didn’t want to identify with the strangeness. So she chose a different mother tongue instead.
Aamniah: Much appreciated from such a wonderful writer as yourself – thank you!
Irving: Thank you & insha-Allah, I hope it will become something more.
Molly: Thank you dear!
Muse: No, my apologies: I am terrible about matching photos with reality – that part of my brain is blank! It was really lovely to see you & insha-Allah will see more of you next month.
Achelois: Yes, ma’am!
Mystic: Insha-Allah 2008 is the year to get more serious about my writing. Though that will probably mean less posting here as blogging a lazy writer makes (for me at least). And, of course you may link back, thanks!
Thank you so much for your support everyone!
Warmly,
Baraka
June 12, 2009 at 4:24 pm
mangomo
How did I miss this post the first time around?! Hmmm, just looked at the date and it was wedding time for me, that must be it!
Loved it! I have a poem called “How to eat a mango,” I must share it with you one day
Us Pakistanis and our mangoes…one thing we can all agree on perhaps!
xoxo
m