Some say the blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice
I say the darker the flesh then the deeper the roots
- Tupac Shakur
I was going to blog about my trip to Boston last week for a dear friend’s wedding but this video of Shahrukh Khan touting a skin bleaching cream totally derailed me. For SHAME, Shahrukh!
He’s prancing about taunting the poor chap for using his sister’s “Fair & Lovely” cream when he should be using the suitably masculine and square “Fair & Handsome” cream instead (with double the amount of herbs for men’s tougher skin!).
The actor is clearly in brownface and the taunting makes me gag. Considering how much trauma women with darker skin around the world have endured, I have no wish to visit that upon men.
It wasn’t until we moved to Pakistan that I was told that my “wheatish” complexion was downright ugly. I spent the next six years in Islamabad indoors as far as possible to prevent myself from getting any darker. My parents, in spite of being educated and affluent, worried about my marriage prospects far more than they ever did of my fair-skinned, younger sisters.
Although the situation is a little better than it was in 1985 when I initially moved there, watching television or looking at billboards in Pakistan one would think one was living in a pale country. In a country run by and populated almost entirely by brown people, how strange that the media should still not reflect them.
It wasn’t until I moved back to the US for college that I found myself seeking out the sun again and discovering that I actually loved being outdoors. Granted, being called “exotic” can be irritating but it was far more positive than compliments being followed up with a sigh and an automatic “it’s too bad she’s dark”. I wore myself out with attention-seeking behavior in my 20s hoping to make up for years of drought, trying to love myself.
I fought with the high-end salon during my wedding five years ago because I wanted them to do the unthinkable: to actually match my skin tone instead of slathering on foundation many shades too light in an attempt to fool – who? Which gray-faced bride has ever fooled anyone into thinking she has a peaches-and-cream complexion?
It impacted me. Whether you call it racism or shadism, how can being automatically considered a lesser being not impact one? A word from my mother about my getting “too dark” in the summer can carry a sting, though I’ve also learned to just laugh it off and continue hiking.
It impacted my father, who had the darkest complexion in his family and was called “Kalu” (“Blackie”) by his parents and friends. His deep feelings of being undesirable or unlovable have had serious consequences on our family.
It impacts my razor-thin, pale-from-sun-deprivation youngest sister who refuses to go outside during the day and whose three-year old daughter is thus rarely taken out to play, developing the habits of a lifetime.
It impacts my five-year old niece who is the darkest girl in her Pakistani kindergarten class, the one that no one wants to play with because of that. How will that friendless but still gregarious, intelligent, gloriously brown five-year old keep loving and accepting herself when she has been reduced to and judged upon a single physical aspect?
It impacts the daughter of an African-American and Pakistani couple in her class who even my niece will not play with because she is black (as if it is catching).
The things we do to avoid getting darker range from the ridiculous to the health-threatening:
The woman who hasn’t had a cup of tea or coffee in ten years because someone told her it will make her skin darker.
The cars filled with gloved and muffled women, with sheet-, shawl- and towel-corners sticking crazily out of the windows as they try to deny the sun’s existence.
The eight-year old girls who suddenly stop playing outside, becoming lethargic women growing slowly fatter and unhealthier every year.
My feudal-rich and naturally beautiful aunt, who sat in a tub of stinging skin bleach weekly from the age of 14 onwards, slathering it all over face, arms, feet and neck – any part that might be exposed – all to become more marriageable.
She, suffering from health side effects, (but, finally a triumphant beige) urged me to do the same at 13. I tried, but couldn’t take the pain.
We can blame it on colonialism or earlier conquerers but a look at our languages and foundational stories show that the ideas of good versus evil have often been cast in terms of light and dark and are deeply embedded in our psyches.
For example, in some translations, the Qur’an describes those who did good works in this life as having white faces on the Day of Judgment and those who did evil as having black ones. In other places, the Qur’an warns us against being blind and deaf to His call (27:79-81).
Instead of reflecting upon and understanding the metaphor of goodness and happiness illuminating a face (and the lack thereof darkening it, as implied in the Asad translation of 3:106), limiting the words to a literal reading can make us less empathetic to those who have darker skin (or are disabled), because on some level we feel that they are accursed, being punished, or are less beloved by God.
Sometimes I think that we limit the Qur’anic message for humanity to parochial cages. To truly love each other as brothers and sisters is very difficult but that is what we are called to do. We have to accept that we are all beloved by Him – seventy times more than a mother’s love at the very least – regardless of our skin color.
We were created by sweet Breath being blown into beautiful, swirled brownblackwhiteyellowred clay to become opportunities, tests and signs for one another. Someday, perhaps we’ll finally catch up to the spirit of the Qur’an, which pushes us to think beyond our narrow comfort zones, beyond judging people merely by skin tone, to a place where we become open to acknowledging and appreciating the uniqueness and potential radiance of each human soul.
And among the signs of God
is the constitution of the heavens and the earth,
and the diversity of your languages and colors;
surely there are signs in that
for those who know.
- Al-Qur’an, 30:22
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Good article on the socio-economic and medical issues behind the fairness obsession in South Asia and beyond: The Fair Factor: The Whiter the Better
14 comments
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October 4, 2007 at 1:34 am
Irving
You are so right, dear Sister. It really hurts me to see children treated this way because of skin color. This urge to whiten comes from a colonial attitude of being second class to the white masters. It is as old as slavery itself, and still is a mental form of it.
Ya Haqq!
October 4, 2007 at 2:07 am
Stargazer0786
So wrong! When will the brown people of the world accept and embrace their browness? Why does everyone want to be white? What makes white so better?
October 4, 2007 at 2:41 am
Shiraz
Wow, this may be the saddest commercial I’ve seen in a while.
October 4, 2007 at 4:36 am
Gulnari
….
I don’t get it, and I never will. I find brown skin so extremely attractive and beautiful -on both sexes- and I can’t wrap my mind around the thought of someone finding it ugly.
That commercial is so humiliating. I’ve seen another one for the same brand of cream – it shows a dark brown pudgy guy being taunted and treated with disgust by a bunch of fair-skinned girls. Meh.
October 4, 2007 at 3:10 pm
Tiel Aisha Ansari
It was sort of like that when I lived in Tanzania– although women there were less appearance-conscious overall than women in the US, people definitely considered lighter shades of skin to be more attractive.
But only up to a point. Genuinely “white” people (Caucasians) were regarded as weird and alien and therefore unattractive. There was also some stigma to being “chotara” (half-Arab).
October 4, 2007 at 3:30 pm
Muse
Great post Baraka, and so true. I dont have the heart to click on that video and watch it…I wrote about my experiences being “the right shade” here in Cairo, and how those around me who are fairer and darker are treated. The whole thing is ridiculous, and it seems to be pervasive not only among desis but arabs as well.
http://muslimmusings.wordpress.com/2007/09/09/the-right-shade/
October 4, 2007 at 8:45 pm
Brian
As a white male, I do understand that I am accorded respect solely based on my skin color. When I used to work in New York City in places like Harlem or Jamaica, everyone, no matter how light or dark their skin, would ignore the manager in favor of me. Because I was white, I must be in charge. I became very discouraged at seeing intelligent and capable people decide that a brown or black skinned person could not be in charge. These were not white people doing this as many times I was the only white person within miles. The people passing judgment were the same skin color.
The lighter the better seems to be the norm in many cultures.
Hope you are feeling better Baraka.
October 5, 2007 at 3:01 pm
ABD
you were in Boston! we missed another baraka opportunity. next time, inshaAllah.
i’m going to politically incorrect, here. not because i like the commercial or that i think there’s a reasonable defense for preferring white/fair skin to brown/darker complexions. growing up in pakistan and having browned over the years, i identify closely with what you’re saying.
but the more basic question you raise is what our attitude should be toward innate inequalities between human beings. we live in an egalitarian society, so our immediate instinct is to oppose inequalities (where they are social) or deny them (where they are natural).
in some ways race clouds the issue because it is so *easy* to know which position to take. but what about height? is taller or shorter no better or worse than average? and beauty: is beauty no better than ugliness (even typing the word is difficult because we cringe from the comparison, but it’s right there in both the beholder and the beheld)? and intelligence: is intelligence no better stupidity? and physical ability: isn’t a fully abled body better than a disabled one (in our heart of hearts, do we really think that disabled people are just differently abled?)
these are not easy questions to ask or answer. but for every couple that hopes their baby is going to be smart, beautiful, fully abled (and maybe even a particular complexion), they are not going to go away.
October 6, 2007 at 1:07 am
mskoonj
Great post, Baraka!
The hero in the ad would have been duskily handsome if his complexion had been real. Reminds me of Waheed Murad, the famous Pakistani superstar who was popularly known as “chocolate hero.” But in those days it was easier for men to be dark than for women.
One of my nephews received discriminatory treatment from day one (from my sister’s ex in laws) – because, as they said, he was “kala” like his mother. His mother and he have both been impacted, for their entire lives.
October 6, 2007 at 8:52 am
UmmFarouq
I am married to “Sambo.” This has been his nickname since he was a toddler. Everyone calls him that. Oh, either “Sambo” or “Fahem,” meaning charcoal.
I have repeatedly been asked, “Why do your children look like their father and not you?”
Hmmm. DNA questions I cannot attempt to answer.
I love the Brownness!
October 6, 2007 at 9:13 am
Baraka
Salaam all & thanks for your thoughtful comments!
Irving: I agree that Western colonization is the most recent and easily recalled form of it though I do think it stretches back much further than that and is probably deeply embedded (biologically and psychologically) within us.
Stargazer: Welcome! When will we embrace our Ultrabrowness? Sooner rather than later, one would hope – but I’m not holding my breath.
Shiraz: Ain’t it though?
Gulnar: I think that’s what I dislike about these cream commercials the most – they make it clear that Ultrabrowns are lesser beings, less intelligent, less successful, and less attractive. Double *meh!*
Tiel: In Pakistan though Caucasians are held in some awe they are not considered attractive in the same way that a fair-skinned Pakistani is. The child of a Pakistani and Caucasian is generally not looked down upon, though it may be in some families depending on ancestry.
Muse: It’s definitely not limited to South Asians – shadism is rampant in most ethnicities and parts of the world. Sorry to hear Cairo is proving challenging in that respect!
Biran: Yes, I think G. Willow Wilson in her comments on Muse’s post explains the post-colonial tangle quite well, with its resultant mixed feelings of resentment and inferiority toward Caucasians.
Ms Koonj: Thanks dear – I love me my chocolate heroes
And I’m so sorry about your sister and niece – people can be so atrocious. Whatever happened to ‘do unto others…?’
Umm Farouq: So ridiculous – I hope it hasn’t effected him too negatively. And, one can only hope that people will come to understand science and biology someday too!
ABD: I was sorry to miss you & sk too! Insha-Allah let’s all have some chai in the spring.
“but the more basic question you raise is what our attitude should be toward innate inequalities between human beings.”
To clarify, I don’t believe in being “color-blind” in the way that is being bandied about these days. I think it’s impossible not to notice race, shade, beauty, intelligence, ability (or lack thereof) as aspects of a person.
But what I am saying is that we need to try to move beyond making judgments about a person’s worth or capabilities based solely on outer appearances.
As believers we are called to develop a different vision – one which attempts to appreciate character and virtue as well. And that vision can be taught to ourselves and passed on to our children.
Our responses to beauty, intelligence and health are deeply and biologically embedded within us and are part of being human, but taking the more into account is also just as humanly possible.
If we begin to look at our “innate inequalities” as signs of God’s presence in our lives, as reminders, as gifts, as tests, then we begin to look at each person and interact with them in a more comprehensive way. Instead of writing them off, we begin to ask, “Why is this person being brought into my life? What do I have to learn from them?”
Sometimes while riding the Muni (SF public transport), I consciously try to look beyond outer appearances and overcome all the automatic short-cuts I take to judge and place people on a socio-economic or attractiveness scale.
I think to myself, “This person is deeply beloved by God. This person was created with love, and with infinite attention to each detail. This person was meant to come into existence. Can I begin to appreciate their spiritual potential or acknowledge that they were formed by loving hands?”
Sometimes I can and sometimes I can’t. Given that SF public transport, and that in the US generally, is often used by drunks, homeless, the elderly, belligerent students, and tree-huggers like myself it is really challenging to see beyond the outer shell.
But sometimes when it happens, it transforms my day and interactions & thus keeps me trying.
I think people often write off this type of attitude as trite but I think developing one’s spiritual vision is incredibly difficult and takes a great deal of discipline because one is often battling against oneself or societal perceptions/values.
And yes, these are not easy questions to ask or answer, so I thank you for bringing them up. Every parent prays for a healthy child – but beyond that, where do we draw the line? With rampant sex-selective abortions in South Asia/China and the fact that genetic testing may soon make it easier to detect more diseases (or “undesirable” characteristics like dark skin) these are important discussions to have.
On a personal note, I can’t help but wonder that if my parents had known of my gender, darker skin and neurological medical condition, if they might have thought twice about bringing me into the world.
Perhaps I am a sign and a test for them or others, just as every person I come across is a teacher in how to be – or not to be – for me.
Warmly,
Baraka
October 11, 2007 at 3:49 am
Margari Aziza Hill
“We were created by sweet Breath being blown into beautiful, swirled brownblackwhiteyellowred clay to become opportunities, tests and signs for one another. Someday, perhaps we’ll finally catch up to the spirit of the Qur’an, which pushes us to think beyond our narrow comfort zones, beyond judging people merely by skin tone, to a place where we become open to acknowledging and appreciating the uniqueness and potential radiance of each human soul.”
This was so beautifully written.
I am always shocked and appalled that people are dismissed because of the shade of their skin tone. I find the rich shades of brown beautiful. I enjoy the skin I am in, but that has been a process. I have experienced the pain of feeling self conscious because I was the darkest girl in class. I have been overlooked and dissed because of my skin tone. I had to get over negative thoughts that someone found me attractive despite my skin tone, but instead they find me attractive because of it.
Your account of your niece’s struggle is so heart wrenching. It is one of the reasons why, if I ever have children, I wouldn’t send them to Islamic schools or any school dominated by immigrant Muslims. I wouldn’t want them to have their experiences of Islam shaded by racism and pettiness. I think that every school (Muslim or not) should have education programs to combat colorism and racism. I see Asian women too combatting the effects of the sun. . From the umbrellas, to long sleeve shirts, the visors that cover their entire faces and skin bleach, to the several shades lighter foundaiton, to the practices of avoiding any sun, it makes me wonder about how they see me. A Mexican American woman told me her mother would tell her to come inside because she’d turn black. Oh horror!! She’d look like me? Is that such a bad thing. Apparently, it is for some people…. Oh well, I love the skin I’m in.
BTW, your niece is beautiful, masha’Allah!
October 11, 2007 at 3:57 am
Margari Aziza Hill
I just read your comments, and it is so inspiring. There is a sister named Rahima who gave a talk at SCU. She said that if we tried to see Allah’s light in every person, it would be impossible not to love them, it would be impossible to hurt them. She told us to just try it. Ultimately, when I move beyond that critical lens of mine and I can see that light. I am glad that you are in blogistan, sharing your struggles, your triumphs, and your vision of the world. We are truly blessed to know you and Barak Allah fiki.
October 16, 2007 at 10:55 pm
When Life isn’t Fair… « Just Another Angry Black Muslim Woman?
[...] who have written insightful posts about colorism and skin bleaching. Two of my favorite entries are “Ultra Brown” and The Right Shade. In addition to recent coverage of the controversy, I pulled up a few articles [...]