The dust is settling on our faces

“It’s as if no time has passed” is the phrase we use to describe the closeness we feel upon reuniting with loved ones.  We pick up the threads of conversation as if we have just left the room a few minutes ago instead of the months or sometimes years that have ensued in between.

Basil and I moved to San Francisco in late 2002 and returned to the East Coast up to three times a year to visit our friends and his family. But, the first fissures appeared six years later in 2008 when, instead of the home I remembered, Boston became strange enough that I needed to carry a map to remember routes I had once known by heart.

In March we visited again and this time Boston had morphed from merely unfamiliar into a graveyard filled with the bodies of past lovers, old dreams, and the person I might have been had I chosen to stay. I stood at the Harvard Square crosswalk chilled by something that had nothing to do with the weather.

“When you’re here, do you ever feel like you might bump into your alternate self – the one who stayed?” I whispered to Basil.

Other uses for a cow

My father reminiscences about diving into the Lahore Canal as a child with his brothers as a way to cool off during summer’s intense heat. This photo reminded me of that.

Cows are used for diving platforms in Hyderabad, Pakistan.

Grace glides on blistered feet

Sign outside of a San Francisco cafe [Photo: Baraka]

Somewhere on my spiritual journey, I lost my empathy.

My faith and trust in God were built up through years of harrowing illness. In the last few months, though, I’ve realized that faith has become a wall shielding me from feeling pain, my own and everyone else’s.

Reluctantly joining the wave

After months of defiance as one friend after another went over to the dark side, I finally joined Twitter. [The feed is also in my sidebar to the left]

At the MLT conference Shahed described it as a mini-blog post, which made it seem more interesting than just another status update, and a challenge to boot with its 140 character limit. Yet, still I hesitated.

But, yesterday when I found out that some of my favorite restaurants are now on-line with secret menu updates and specials, the foodie in me could no longer resist!

Sufficient is the Knowledge of my Lord

I was telling fatnurmaz yesterday about my spiritual crisis, and she offered up this beautiful poem.

Friends like her are truly a Divine blessing.

—

Sufficient is the Knowledge of my Lord

Qasida of Imam al-Haddad

My Lord’s knowledge has sufficed me
from asking or choosing

For my du’a and my agonizing supplication
is a witness to my poverty.

For this secret (reason) I make supplication
in times of ease and times of difficulty

I am a slave whose pride
is in his poverty and obligation.

O my Lord and my King
You know my state.

And what has settled in my heart
of agonies and preoccupations.

Save me with a gentleness
from You, O Lord of Lords.

Oh save me, Most Generous
before I run out of patience (with myself)

My Lord’s knowledge has sufficed me
from asking or choosing

O One who is swift in sending aid
I ask for aid that will arrive to me swiftly

It will defeat all difficulty
and it will bring all that I hope for

O Near One Who answers
and All-Knowing and All-Hearing

I have attained realization through my incapacity,
my submission and my brokenness

My Lord’s knowledge has sufficed me
from asking or choosing

I am still standing by the door, so please my Lord
have mercy on my standing.

And in the valley of generosity, I am in i’tikaf (solitary retreat)
So, Allah, make my retreat here permanent.

And I’m abiding by good opinion (of You)
For it is my friend and ally.

And it is the one that sits by me and keeps me company
All day and night.

My Lord’s knowledge has sufficed me
from asking or choosing

There is a need in my soul, O Allah
so please fulfill it, O Best of Fulfillers

And comfort my secret and my heart
from its burning and its shrapnel

In pleasure and in happiness
and as long as You are pleased with me

For joy and expansion is my state
and my motto and my cover.

My Lord’s knowledge has sufficed me
from asking or choosing.

To the east

I’m traveling to NYC and Atlanta today for two conferences, including Muslim Leaders of Tomorrow.

I’m very excited to meet some sensational bloggers including those from Spirit21, Muslimah Media Watch, AltMuslim,  It’s My Life and others!

Of course, being from the cool gray pearl of San Francisco, I have nothing to wear once the weather gets over 80 degrees, so the next 8 days should be interesting!

From Clay

One of my favorite writers is back!

Go forth and bask in his profound and charming mind.